Thanks to the internet, we have so many relationship coaches available at our fingertips. On the one hand, this is absolutely fantastic, and on the other, you may feel easily overwhelmed with all of the information and advice they provide.
So, if you’ve been scouring the net for dating advice, you have found your jackpot. We have rounded up 10 tips for finding love from some of our favourite relationship and dating coaches below:
1. Learn to actively listen. – @theauthenticman_
The “default” listening mode for most of us is ‘listening to respond’, meaning you start to think about what you will say while the other is still talking. If we change our default more to ‘listening to understand’, your communication improves. Listening to understand means paying full attention to the speaker’s words and feelings before formulating our own responses or thinking about how we feel about said topic.
Not only will this change make you more attentive to what your date or partner is saying, but it will also allow you to build a better emotional connection with them.
2. Love yourself first. – Oprah Winfrey
It’s so cliché to say, but it really does hold true: When you learn to take care of and love yourself first, you set the basis of how you want to be loved.
Nothing is more powerful than that.
Oprah may not be a relationship coach, but she sure has shared some excellent words of wisdom over the years.
3. Look for an equal, not a project. – @Benjamindaly
When dating, you may be enticed by the people who you feel need your help. While for some people, this may fulfil many of their needs, for most it can be draining – especially in the long term.
Instead, Daly recommends that you look for someone who shows that they are able to take care of themselves by meeting their own needs, and is also capable of meeting some of your wants. Look for someone who is (for lack of a better word) ready for the relationship that you can build together.
4. Run your own race: stay in your own lane and don’t worry about others. – @relationship_life_coach
For some, dating seems super easy, for others, it may take longer to find a good match. Remember that we all move at our own pace and, as the famous saying goes: “Comparison is the thief of joy”.
Enjoy your journey and don’t compare yourself to those around you.
5. Stop hiding the real you. Build your self-esteem. – @lovecoachcatherine
Catherine Danieli recently shared a post in which she wrote:
“True love is REAL LOVE, and what’s true is being our authentic self. ”
She encourages everyone to stop hiding behind trying to play it cool or not showing their feelings. Furthermore, she writes that “healthy self-esteem allows us to share our flaws and imperfections as much as our gifts and talents.”
6. Don’t expect them to be able to meet ALL of your needs and wants. – @drjulie
Waiting for someone else to make you happy places too much pressure and control in the hands of someone else. Learn to fulfil your own needs, so that your potential partner can help you fulfil your wants and add the cherries on top.
7. Express yourself. – @drjulie
As much as we may sometimes feel our emotions are written on our faces, no one can actually read our minds.
Even though it may feel uncomfortable, voicing your opinions, needs and wants is the only way you can actually work towards having them be noticed and met.
Start a conversation with your match or partner about what you’re looking for and take it from there.
8. Become curious. – @naomicambridge
On her Instagram, dating and relationship coach Naomi Cambridge writes:
“Curiosity is a superpower that greatly enhances the connection to ourselves and others”.
So, become curious about your date. Not only will you find out more about them, but it will also show that you’re interested and attentive. What’s more, by being curious and asking questions, it will be easier for you to figure out if you’ve got a connection with your date or not.
9. Don’t become hyper-focused on them. – @lovecoachcatherine
When getting to know your date, don’t forget that they want to get to know you, too.
So, for one, let your light shine and tell them about you and your interests. Secondly, check in with yourself by paying attention to your reaction and how you’re feeling. Don’t dismiss your gut feeling just because you want to be attracted to this type of person.
10. Love your life. – @thematthewhussey
On his Twitter account Matthew Hussey, dating coach and NYT best-selling author shared the following golden nugget:
“You can love your life now, even while you’re looking for the person you want to spend it with.”
If there’s one tip you should remember, then we think it’s #10. Enjoy the process of dating and don’t lose yourself in it with all of society’s shoulds, coulds and woulds.
Appreciate what you already have in your life and look forward to what’s to come!
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